Introduction

In speech culture, it is determined by certain rules that a person should always conduct a conversation while observing the rules of politeness. The culture of politeness is unique for each nation. The rules of politeness cover the cultural heritage of the people, their thinking, the development of consciousness, traditions and customs passed down from generation to generation. In recent years, the culture of politeness has become an object of research in linguistics. In gender linguistics, the culture of politeness is also being comprehensively studied in the world linguistics. In sociolinguistics, issues such as the study of the culture of politeness in social strata, the culture of politeness of people occupying various positions, the culture of politeness with an age factor have been studied in detail. In the direction of pragmalinguistics, the culture of politeness through speech acts, the maxims of politeness and the issue of maintaining prestige (face saving) in communication are in the focus of research, while in the direction of linguocultural studies, the expression of the principles of politeness in different cultures is the focus, in the direction of psycholinguistics, the culture of politeness through various conflicts, the internal experiences of a person and the psychological factors of politeness disorders are the focus. In gender linguistics, the culture of politeness is studied as a special expression of politeness in male and female language. We analyze gender language in the study of politeness culture in a synergistic approach. That is, we analyze the maxims of politeness and their violation in gender speech within the scope of pragmalinguistics, psycholinguistics and sociolinguistics, thus drawing our own conclusions about the noticeable differences in male and female speech. As well as the analyses of violation of politeness maxims due to gender communication barriers will be presented in the article.

Literature review

Gender communication barriers arise from the nature of women and men and the concept of gender stereotypes formed in society. A range of researchers conducted studies on gender communication barriers.          A.A. Nikitina and K.A. Radina (2010) investigated the gender communication barriers in micro and macro layers of the text. M. Yermolayeva (2010) divides gender communication barriers into several types:

1. Stereotypical-cognitive barriers are formed through the prism of gender, which refers to both sexes;
2. Socio-communicative gender communication barriers are associated with the position of men and women in society, their social inequality, and lead to various misunderstandings in communication;
3. Gender-role communication barriers are associated with the roles of men and women formed in society. The roles of men and women differ in the home and workplace, leading to the formation of a certain traditional stereotype. Stereotypical barriers are formed in society and differ in different nations and ethnicities;
4. Communicative-behavior gender communication barriers arise from a lack of understanding of the speech strategies of the opposite sex, leading to a misinterpretation of speech intentions and cause certain obstacles;
5. Ethical-communicative gender communication barriers arise from a negative assessment of the characteristics and qualities of the opposite sex. This leads to a violation of the politeness maxims in gender speech (Ermolova, 2010).

We will consider what situations can lead to misunderstandings between men and women and what the obstacles to gender communication can emerge. Thus, we will approach the communication of men and women from the genre of conflict.

According to Ye. Kireeva (2005) conflict is an immanent feature of universal existence, a clash of personal views of people. Conflict is defined biologically and socially, as it occurs in every sphere of our lives. We agree with                   Ye. Kireeva and note that conflict is unique in each culture. Conducting a conversation in accordance with D. Leech’s maxims of politeness during communication ensures the resolution of conflicts, encourages people to respect each other and promotes effective communication. K.F. Sedov (2010) approves        the genre of quarrels as the primary genre that reflects vital socio-psychological conflicts in verbal and non-verbal form. V.V. Dementyev (2010) includes the scandal genre in the category of phatic speech genres and defines it as a genre that leads to the violation of interpersonal relations. We also include the scandal genre in the category of speech genres and emphasize that it is a genre that clearly reflects the communicative behavior of people. A. Vezhbitskaya (1997) explains this genre as a genre that provides an understanding of the culture of a particular society.

In the present article we will examine cases of violation of D. Leech’s (2013) maxims of politeness in conflict situations, as well as in which category of politeness maxims are most violated, the emergence of conflict situations between men and women. We shall also analyze the barriers to communication that lead to conflict in the communication of male and female.

Results and discussions

In order to illustrate the violation of politeness principles in different conflict situations we observed some Russian, English and Uzbek literary works. The following dialogic speech shows the violation of the principles of communication in the relationship between a man and a woman, and ethical-communicative barriers in communication lead to a violation of speech etiquette. Subordination, softness and dominance, typical of a woman, alternate in their speech:

Dilbar: Where are you going now? Work s at eight o'clock...

Hafiz: I am leaving at seven, what’s happened if I leave at half past seven, Dilbar! –  he whispered. – I just wanted to go to work earlier.

Dilbar: Hafiz-aka, are you honest!? – the woman spoke sharply. – You leave home at dawn and come back when it gets dark, you don't think about anything... You only think about yourself!?

Hafiz: I don't have anything important to do right now, do you?

Dilbar: Fair enough, go... (O. Mukhtar, The Country and Kingdom of Women)

As L. Gushina and Y. Yevtukhova (2013) cites, the dominance in female speech can occur when she shows disagreement.

According to R. Lakoff (1975), if a woman's speech becomes aggressive and the cooperation characteristic of female speech disappears, such speech is considered aggressive and inconsistent with female speech and the stereotype of female speech disappears.

According to D. Leech (2010), the factor that ensures the effectiveness and positiveness of human communication are the politeness maxims. The basis of conflicts in interpersonal, especially male-female communication, is the failure to comply with the maxims of politeness.

At the same time, it is clear from the speech of the man in this dialogue that Hafiz, adhering to D. Leech's maxims of agreement, tried to mitigate the conflict, that is, the expression “I don't have anything important to do right now?” prompted Dilbar's response “Fair enough, go ...”. The correctly chosen illocutionary act by the man led to the effectiveness of the woman's speech act. As for the gender characteristics of conducting a conversation, the male dominance was transferred to the female and the female establishment of cooperation was transferred to the male.

Let us give another example of an ethical-communicative gender barrier. This type of gender barrier in communication occurs               when a negative opinion is expressed about           the characteristics of both sexes. Below we              will analyze how the violation of etiquette occurs in the dialogue between Ostap Bender and his wife:

– Wipe your eyes. Each of your tears is a molecule in space (I. Ilf, Ye. Petrov, The Twelve Chairs). The metaphor used in this example indicates the specificity of male speech. That is, a woman cannot show indifference to the problems of others; in female speech such feelings as empathy and pity are expressed through appropriate metaphors.

In the example given, Ostap Bender speaks to his wife in an ironic manner, comparing her tears with a molecule in space. This shows the rudeness inherent in a man. According to D. Leech's maxims of politeness, as tact, generosity and approbation are absent in Ostap Bender's speech, which is why a conflict arises between husband and wife. Ostap Bender uses the stylistic device of litotes in his speech, which implicitly indicates that his wife's problem does not mean anything to him.

In the following extract the violation of politeness maxims occurred in the result of the type of gender barrier as the stereotypical-cognitive.

It is known that the topics that men and women discuss during a conversation also differ. While the topics of men are football, hunting, women, politics; women's topics include household chores, cooking, childcare, beauty salons. Therefore, in this dialogue, the conflict between a husband and wife is related to football:

– If you say "no football" again, put your bag under your arm and go to your mother's.

– After all, your sister...

– If I have a sister, then my thousand-year-old sister... Can you use your brains, such a game happens once every four years. I have been waiting for such a game for four years. (T. Malik, The dead do not speak).

The dialogue did not observe the politeness maxims. The man did not want to give his position, that is, he continued to defend his interests, male dominance, speech division and the use of negative vocabulary can be observed in the dialogue. The conflict that arose during the conversation is caused by a stereotypical-cognitive barrier, that is, it is caused by the difference in the worldview of men and women. The gender worldview of men and women is formed by different views, interests, associative fields and even language units characteristic of men and women. In order to defend his interests, the man’s speech even showed emotion. However, emotion was not expressed through diminutive suffixes, exclamations and euphemisms that are expressed in women’s speech, but through repetition: such a game happens once every four years. I have been waiting for such a game for four years. It is natural for people of Uzbek nationality to express the same thought repeatedly through different means. Our research has shown that Uzbek men repeatedly convey a thought through different means in order to gain more confidence in their statements or to make their speech credible. At the same time, hyperbole in male speech shows his emotions.  In male speech, the categories of generosity and sympathy are violated the principles of politeness, that is, in the violation of the category of generosity, a man disregards a woman's worldview and interests, and approves of his own, and in the violation of the category of generosity, a man uses the expressions humiliating his wife.

The gender role communication barrier is illustrated in the following conversation between a husband and wife. In D. Steinbeck's novel “The Wrath of Anger’", when a difficult situation arises, the woman controls the situation. In order to take control, the woman quarreled with her husband and imposed             her rule. The woman, who is usually gentle             and dependent on her husband, always obeying his words, has changed dramatically. Her change is visible in her speech. A woman's speech becomes aggressive and dominant, typical of a man. If swearing and oath-taking are common in men's speech, swearing in this situation is typical of women's speech. The man submits, hesitation and doubt appear in his speech:

– I ain't a gonna go.

– What do you mean, you ain't gonna go? You got to go. You got to look after the family. – Pa was amazed at the revolt.

– Only way you gonna get me to go is whup me.

– She moved the jack handle gently again.

– An' I'll shame you, Pa. I won't take no whupping, crying' an' a-begging'. I'll light into you. An' you ain't so sure you can whup me anyways. An' if you do get me, I swear to God I'll wait until you got your back turned, or you sit down, an' I'll knock you belly-up with a bucket. I swear to Holy Jesus' sake I will.

– She's sassy. I never saw her so sassy....

– The eyes of the whole family shifted back to Ma. She was the power. She had taken the control. (J. Steinbeck, The Wrath of Anger)

Gender role communication barriers              can usually arise based on gender             stereotypes, that is, the roles of men and women in society and in the family. In this situation, gender roles are reversed, and of course, the man, who does not understand            his wife's behavior, expresses his dissatisfaction, and in order to maintain his position, a conflict is allowed between the husband and wife. The expressiveness that appears in the woman's speech is illustrated through repetition: I swear. Speech acts such            as making a promise, taking an oath, and          taking on one's responsibility are considered commissive speech acts and are distinguished by their specificity for male speech. In this situation, the commissive speech act is used in female speech. The expressiveness and expression of emotions characteristic of women are used in male speech: so sassy. The so, such adverbs, which are usually used in female speech, are used in male speech. In the dialogue, not only the dominance, aggressiveness, softness, subordination in the dichotomous description of men and women are changing, but also the use of language units and speech acts characteristic of men and women.

Also, scientific research on gender speech has revealed that men use more verbs and adverbs in their speech, while women use         more nouns and adjectives. N. Dolzhenko and N. Sivkova (2019), drawing attention to women's discourse, emphasize the use of more verbs than other classes of words. While women typically use adjectives more in their speech, in conflict situations they use adjectives less, on the contrary they use more personal pronouns to show dominance. In conflict communication, women use past and present tense verbs, passive verbs and definite verbs, which is a clear indication that the characteristics of women's speech that express cooperation and subordination are replaced by characteristics of men's speech such as dominance and aggression. We can be sure that the use of the pronoun “I” (me) in a woman's speech indicates her dominance over men, and the use of verbs in her speech indicates the appearance of masculine characteristics in her speech.

Conclusion

In general, it can be said that gender communication barriers cause conflicts between women and men, preventing               them from understanding each other. It can             be concluded that gender-based conflicts in male and female communication in any                nation are expressed in a similar way.         Therefore, we believe that the study of the theory of gender communication barriers will provide further research to identify communication strategies for resolving various conflicts. Thus, in order to prevent conflicts and quarrels in the process of conversation between men and women, the article will serve as a theoretical source for conducting a number of studies in the areas of psycholinguistics, sociolinguistics and communication discourse.